During my childhood, our household made occasional weekday jaunts to Atlanta, usually to take one or both of my sisters to the orthodontist. I was just a boy made of snakes and snails and puppy-dog tails, so it was deemed that I didn’t need such costly cosmetic care. (As it turns out, I have such a profound underbite that when I play a clarinet I have to hold the instrument upside down with the bell pointing up.)
These Atlanta trips were big events for us. We’d hop onto brand new Interstate-20 and Tootsie, our mom, would remark about how quickly we could get to The Big City on that road.
Before heading home, we would get a milkshake at The Majestic Diner or a frosted orange from The Varsity. No longer in a hurry with appointments – and we had blown off the school day, anyway – Tootsie would begin our leisurely meander on the old untrustworthy Covington Highway.
In these current times, people who are familiar with the far western reaches of the Covington Highway know that it is untrustworthy because on that thoroughfare, on the edge of Decatur, inside Atlanta’s Perimeter, there is a strip of shops called “Covington Place.” That place is not in Covington. It’s two counties away!
But my understanding of Covington Highway’s untrustworthiness goes back to my early childhood because we couldn’t return all the way home to our fair city on its own eponymously named road, we had to jump onto I-20 in Lithonia. To belabor the point, on untrustworthy Covington Highway, we’d pass a raunchy little business called, “Honest John’s Used Cars.”
Tootsie, fluent in sarcasm, and successful at passing that language onto her children, would say, “We’ll get our next car from Honest John’s. He must be honest ‘cause his sign says so!”
My mother undoubtedly would have reached the same conclusion with the limited-issue social media app, “Truth Social.”
Sometimes Tootsie would employ other less sarcastic but equally witty cliches to express her lack of faith in the integrity of a person. Stuff like, “I don’t trust him as far as I could throw him.” Or, one that comes to mind today, “I wouldn’t believe that man if he swore on a stack of Bibles.”
• • •
Yes, alone in my home, I tuned in to watch the inauguration on January 20th. I bore witness to the once and future First Lady, bedecked in her Eric Javits-designed extra wide-brimmed down-over-her-eyes-kiss-repelling boater hat (sort of aloof high fashion model meets gondolier meets Beetle Bailey) holding at the ready for the swearing-in, not one, but two Bibles.
Then...then... YES! I caught the faintest whiff of Winston smoke, and from beyond the Veil, I heard Tootsie proclaim, “Holy moly, it’s a stack of Bibles!”
I was ever the argumentative one while she was alive; I was not going to change my ways just because my mother was dead. I countered, “Mom, two Bibles do not a stack make.”
She said, “Is one Bible stacked upon another?”
Ghosts have a way of winning debates, dadgummit. “Well, sure.”
“Then it’s a stack. Now hush. I want to hear the Oath of Office.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
My mother’s specter and I watched and listened for those familiar words as the incoming President swore to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States. But we both couldn’t help but notice, the incoming President’s left hand never lifted from his side. The top Bible was left cold and uncovered.
I heard my mother’s voice fading and distant as she said, “Well, how ‘bout THEM apples? There you have it. I love you, Son...”
And with her signature three rings of cigarette smoke, she was gone.
• • •
There are so many lies to choose from and so little time. Back in September during his debate with Kamala Harris, when he was questioned about Project 2025, Trump said, “I have nothing to do with Project 2025. I haven’t read it. I don’t want to read it purposely. I’m not going to read it.”
His plea of ignorance reminds me of that time in February 2016 when former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke said, “Voting against Donald Trump at this point is really treason to your heritage.”
When Candidate Trump was asked about David Duke he said, “I just don’t know anything about him.”
But with Project 2025… well, sure, it’s difficult to imagine DJT reading anything 900 pages long, but he is certainly on board with it. Among the contributors to the massive document, one-hundred-forty of them worked in his first administration. And his slew of executive orders have followed the pseudo-tome’s playbook chapter and verse.
• • •
In our military, February 21st has already been named “The Friday Massacre.” The President fired General Charles Q. Brown, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. General Brown was the second African American to hold that post. The first was Colin Powell, thirty years ago. General Brown once told his troops about the bias he faced throughout his career. He said, without complaint, that he had “...to perform error-free.”
Was race a factor in General Brown’s firing? Well, back in November, on a podcast, The Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth said, “First of all, you gotta fire, you know, you gotta fire the chairman of Joint Chiefs.” Hegseth had written, “Was [Brown’s being the Chairman] because of his skin color? Or his skill? We’ll never know, but always doubt — which on its face seems unfair to CQ.”
General Brown had been confirmed by the Senate as Chairman in a vote of 89 – 8.
And concerning the firing of the Chief of Naval Operations, Admiral Lisa Franchetti, Hegseth had written that she was “...a DEI hire.”
PHEW! At least we have the Judge Advocates General Corps, (JAG). That group will ensure that The Uniform Code of Military Justice is adhered to. After all, this non-partisan corps of military overseers has been around since 1775.
Nope. Hegseth has fired the top legal officers for the military services. Yikes.
Talk about stacking the deck. This proves, once again, that weak leaders need “yes men.”
Please note:
According to the Department of Defense, 31.2% of active military members belong to a racial minority group. Almost 20% are women. Indeed, 24.1% of Air Force officers are women. So if everything is even, it makes sense that, from time to time, women and people of color should rise to the highest levels of command.
Recruitment in an all-volunteer military is a tenuous business as it is. In 2022 and 2023, the Army missed its recruitment goal by 25%. It caught back up in 2024 when it lowered the goal by 10,000 troops.
Sending the signal to women and minorities that they will not be given an even chance to advance to the higher echelons of rank because of their race and gender will certainly dwindle the number of young people who might want to join up for military service.
Here’s one more bit of demographic context for our Covington News readers: we live in a majority/minority community… or is it minority/majority? This old sociology major should get this straight, although it means the same thing. Suffice it to say that Covington, Georgia is 38.9% white.
Here’s a pretty good (unscientific) indication of how diverse the United States of America actually is. The next time you are in Hartsfield-Jackson-ATL, the world’s busiest airport, go to any domestic concourse, stand on one of those mysterious mechanical trash cans, and look down the corridor as far as you can see. Every race, creed, and gender who can afford to fly is there. Nobody even notices. (Except, they will notice you because you’ll be standing on a trash can.)
I am praying for our glorious Melting Pot.
Andy Offutt Irwin is a touring storyteller and singer/songwriter. He is a proud citizen of Covington, Georgia, and The United States of America.
